Blood on your saddle

One day you'll be in the ditch,
flies buzzing around your eyes.
Blood on your saddle.

goodbye

at first i thought you had beautiful blue eyes. but yesterday i saw the blue as a tired hue, almost gray. they didn’t shine, they dissolved into your tired face and tired me.

for someone there is someone never coming back

Indigo Girls

The moment you realize that you are done fighting for your dreams and will take what you have instead.

Yielding

I want to go out and get a veggie burger. He wants to stay in because the weather is not ideal. Naturally we are staying in. Because I can give it up. Along with myself.

some women wait for jesus and some women wait for cain

—leonard cohen

you either make a bed that’s cold or you’re walking barefoot over coals.

—josh ritter

Hiding is only fun if someone is looking for you.

new approach

i have been told i should try this new approach. instead of feeling anxious about something that has not yet happened (and might not happen no matter how much i want it to), i should say thank you for it as if i am in the future and what i wanted came true. so thank you wherever you are for not being what i feared you were. thank you.

heartburn

funny how heartburn has nothing to do with the heart, and yet. maybe it’s the age or maybe it’s the chocolate but maybe it’s the pain in my heart that has been my loyal companion for a while now, while we waited together for something that never came. and then came the heartburn. and here we are.

blind dates, yet again

my sister is excited because a friend of her friend managed to find two single guys i can go out with. are they cute? i don’t know. are they under 40? probably not. can i see a picture before i agree to a date? why are you being so picky. 

i can’t even find the words to explain to her why all this is so offensive to me. 

takeaways from today’s wedding

1- i need to un-rsvp the wedding i was supposed to go to in two days. there is no way i can do this twice in one week. 

2- everybody is playing a part. everybody is hiding something.

3- couples like to make a mockery out of the very mock-able ceremony but i think that you should either accept the fact that you are doing it or not do it at all. but to stand there and act cynical is pathetic.

4- parents are always relieved to see their children wed. 

5- there is always a recurring theme that everyone talks about in speeches and bar conversations. tonight’s was how they were love at first sight. it was repeated over twenty times. as if it was needed to define and justify the whole event. 

6- single women over 30 who hit on the married photographer are a very sad sight. 

7- women’s speeches always talk about how he gives her strength and how she can lean on him. men’s speeches are always a promise to provide and protect. regardless of how “modern” their relationship really is. this makes me suspect that they are more into the idea of what they are doing than what is actually going on. and it makes me sad to see that self proclaimed feminists always fail this test of defining love as something other than having a man to protect their poor and fragile little souls. 

8- women wear high heels to look great and then complain how uncomfortable they are with other women all night long. why is it not more embarrassing to complain all night long than to wear flats?

9- i wish i could experience a wedding at face value without having takeaways running through my mind all night long. 

10- no matter how hard i try, i am not like everybody else. and i do try hard.